Subliminal Bacon

Yesterday I made the 15 minute trek from my apartment to the grocery store. Not too far under normal circumstances, even in 100 degree weather. But the heat must have affected me something awful because when I arrived at the mall, I somehow translated a travel advertisement that directed me to "Get a Piece of the Action" into "Get a Slice of Bacon". I had encountered some sort of evil Qatari mirage offering me a porky treat (maybe with some eggs and toast, too) only to have myself disabused of my notion that I could find a slice of crispy goodness once I attempted to take a nibble from the false oasis. At second glance, the giant ad had nothing on it for me to confuse with bacon - a sailing boat tears through glassy blue water with a Western-looking couple smiling blandly at one another as the wind whips through their hair. No one's hair looks like that when on a boat. Or when they eat bacon. Especially since I usually eat bacon at breakfast, my hair looks like a lion's mane. Rawr. Also, no one only eats one slice of bacon. I should have known then that my brain had played a terrible trick on my taste buds.

I had no idea I would miss bacon so much.

In other completely bizarre news, I took a Zumba class today on campus. While under usual circumstances I would not take a "dance-fitness" class (I find it difficult to only think of dance as a means to fitness goals!), the likelihood of taking dance classes in the traditions to which I have grown accustomed remain slim to none.

I knew of Zumba from my years of teaching at YMCAs, and I think I even took a class once in College Station. Apparently, people really, and I mean REALLY, enjoy these classes.  Proponents of Zumba claim the classes combine elements of several Latin dances (broadly construed, I assure you) into a "fitness-party". They promote all manner of varieties of  Zumba, including Aqua, Zumbini ("for ages 0-3 and their caregivers") and Zumba Gold (for "older adults"). Our class of nine plus instructor shimmied and sweat our way through the hour-long class. Overall, I had fun shaking my groove thang, but, my inner dancer/dance teacher kept screaming at me over the organization and approach to the class.

Check it out: Double-tasseled cargo pants "that bring a touch of color contrast to the table (and the dance floor, of course)": 

http://www.zumba.com/en-US/store/US/product/ultimate-orbit-cargo-pants?color=Black

Zumba certainly delivers on high energy, but it seems to lack any instruction. Not once does the "instructor" break down anything. The entire class relies on following along. From what I can tell on the website, this is the method of Zumba and not the predilections of a particular instructor. I understand the argument that stopping to teach the steps would slow down the pace; however, there are ways to make sure that the class has a minimum level of competence before adding on another movement pattern. Maybe people taking the class do not actually care about learning how to move and, in fact, like to look around confusedly taking a couple of steps here and a couple of steps there while nearly running into the one person that has taken this class every week for the last six years and is now in teacher-training, so she has every single moment of the hour memorized?

I will return to class next week.  

XO,
JZog